Typical "Dramatic Lifetime Update" Post

First off, to spare the suspension: No baby yet...but LOTS of great, love-filled energy. :)

So, where are we today, building the groundwork for 2013?

Well, I have quit my job as manager of The Regeneration Station and have decided to go back to school and teaching. I've really missed teaching at Ivy Tech and would like to return to the community college setting. I've also really missed academia, so I'm taking a couple online courses for my masters through IU. There aren't many graduate school options around here, so I'll probably finish my online program since I'm only a few classes away, and then look into other local options. I'm feeling drawn to work on my PhD, but I'm not sure what in. I'm just letting myself explore this semester and see what I love.

Leaving the shop was a really really really hard decision to make. I felt like I was letting the company down and giving up. But I finally just had to realize that I wasn't doing what I loved, and I couldn't deny it any longer. I still LOVED my job and time at The Regeneration Station, and I want to continue to be involved in the company and the upcycling movement. Through my time at the store, I realized that upcycling (especially furniture) is really a passion of mine. One that should be pursued and fulfilled. That being said, I also learned that I don't want the responsibilities and stress that come along with running a small business like that. At least not right now. I can't fulfill the needs of a company like that when I know that there are basic needs of my own that aren't being met. I need to take care of myself before I can help others.

If I'm not slinging mattresses and selling upcycled furniture, then what am I doing now? I'm officially a full time student. (i.e. I took a little extra out in student loans to help pay rent for the semester.) So I'm diving head first into academia (and finally getting those journal articles submitted). I'm also diving head first into my writing. I finally just need to get it all out there and stop holding myself back. Same goes for singing and songwriting. ;)

So I'm taking a semester for me. Time for me to explore the things that I love and give my soul the attention that it needs. I'll still be on the lookout for work opportunities and see what arises. I have faith it will all work for the good. Normally it does when I just surrender.

There's so much more in my head and heart that I can't wait to share, but I think that's a long enough post for one day. :)

So much love!
Kim

Calling on My Angels - It's Baby-Making Time!

I’ve been trying for about a year and a half to get pregnant.  Dustin had his vasectomy reversal in April 2011, and we’ve been letting nature take its course since then.

Over the last month or so, I’ve felt that it’s very close.  I’ve been praying and meditating over my belly regularly, releasing all the fear, doubt, and worry I have about not being able to get pregnant.

Due to my history of ovarian problems and Dustin’s vasectomy, I haven’t had the most positive thoughts on us getting pregnant, and I now know that that is the reason for not getting pregnant.

I had an amazing, enlightening talk with my dear friend Julie who I believe to be divinely inspired.  She’s very into astrology, so she gave me and Dustin our astrological forecast for this year of our lives.  It’s amazing and almost hard to believe how dead on a lot of what she said was.  As she was looking over mine, she laughed and said, “You guys better be careful over the next couple months if you don’t want to have a baby…”

“Well,” I said, “what if we do want to have a baby?”

“Then this is prime baby-making time!” she exclaimed.  As we talked more about our interest in getting pregnant, she was able to view our cards through that lens and said that the heavens are definitely on our side due to all the baby cards showing up.

She later said that some psychics can actually see the aura of a baby on the outside of a woman’s body when a woman is trying to get pregnant.  She said it’s mostly due to the mother not fully opening herself up to the idea of pregnancy, so the baby is just waiting on the sidelines, wanting to be born.  Toward the end of our talk, she told me that she felt there was a baby present with me already, though she didn’t want to say anything to get my hopes up in case she was mistaken.

The thing that stood out to me most was toward the end when we were hugging and saying goodbye.  She said that she’s feeling led to tell me to ask for angels.  That if Dustin and I believe in angels and heavenly beings, to ask for their help and support as we try to get pregnant.  The first thing that came to my mind is the group of amazing ladies on the Living Love Tour who they call themselves “angels”.

I also started to think about how everyone in my life could be considered an angel.  I’ve been considering writing a blog for some time now about my pregnancy journey.  My doubts and fears, my hopes and aspirations.  When you’ve wanted something so badly your entire life, your greatest fear becomes the idea of not being able to have it.  So I’ve held onto a LOT of fear about pregnancy.  I’ve always held back from posting things because I don’t want to be seen as having the “woe is me – I can’t get prego” attitude, but I feel like it's time to talk about my feelings and ask for help.

I now feel called to ask my angels for help.  And all of you are my angels.  I believe in the power of positive thoughts, energy, and collective consciousness, so I figure it couldn’t hurt to get all of you wonderful people focusing on loving thoughts for me and my future baby.  I believe in angels, and I believe in miracles.  We all have the power of creation within us, so I ask for your help and support in creating this pregnancy.

So if you could, just stop what you’re doing right now and send me a loving prayer, thought, or blessing.  

Pray for my body, that it be prepared and healthy to carry a child.  Pray for the future baby of mine.  Visualize lots of pink for a girl! ;)  

Especially all you mothers out there who have experienced pregnancy and have a little baby of your own.  Take the love of motherhood that you feel and send it my way as a wish for me.

I believe that I can have a baby, and I believe that the time is coming soon.  My life is perfect and stable for starting a family, and it’s time for me to let go of my fear, doubt, and worry and let that baby in!

Thank you, my angels, for your help! J

SO MUCH LOVE,

Kim

Changes Come, Turn My World Around

I wrote this over a month ago and forgot to post it. It's still pretty accurate today.

Dustin and I had a wonderful day yesterday.  A day of great talks, honest moments, laughter, sillyness, and a hike in the rain with the puppies.  It was a great release for both of us as we've both been working WAY too hard lately.

Things really are going great, but with those great, exciting changes comes stress.  Which we've been feeling a lot of lately.

We spent the whole day talking about how insane the last year has been and how it's really taken an emotional toll on us (both individually and as a couple) whether we want to admit it or not.

I realized that a big part of why I've been feeling so down lately is due to missing my family.  I realized yesterday that's it's been almost two months since I've heard my momma's voice, and that's just TOO LONG! - Which is why I'm excited about our phone date this evening. :) -

I tend to get too hard on myself.  I carry a lot of guilt for moving away.  Though I love our new life in Asheville, sometimes I feel guilty, like I "abandoned" my friends and family.  I worry that people have ill feelings towards us for leaving, and I know I have to let that go.  I would hope that all our friends and family are happy for us and the life we've created together.

Instead of allowing myself to feel guilt and sadness when I think about all the people I love and miss, I need to just acknowledge those emotions and take them as signs that that area of my life needs attention.  Since I've been working so much, I haven't been very good at staying connected with people, and I think that's the main things that's got me so down.  I don't want the physical distance between us causing emotional distance.

I also realized during my cathartic day yesterday that perhaps I haven't fully dealt with all that's happened in the last year and a half or so.  There was a lot of family and emotional turmoil before the wedding, then we just picked up our life and left to Louisiana (and then Asheville).  I fear that subliminally, I was severing myself from it all.  Running away perhaps.  Putting on that smile, going through the motions, convincing myself all is well when maybe it's not.

They are all things that will be dealt with in time, and the important part is that I am filled with nothing but love and the desire to feel whole again.

Perhaps the best part about yesterday was remembering how in love with my husband and I am.  Having our talks, sharing our fears and working through them together, and of course, just our fun goofiness.  I forgot how funny and adorable my husband is.  I am so grateful for our wonderful day together, and I feel like we've both been washed anew.

In other news, we should be moving into our house this week!  We are renting the house right next door to Tyler's, where we're staying now.  I think finally getting settled and having a home again will help our mental state as well.

Update!!

I apologize for being such a sucky blogger. It just gets a little crazy around here sometimes!!

So, here's a quick, end-of-the-day update on the Allen's!

Update #1: We're crashing at my bosses house for a bit while we continue our home search. Got a great lead in that tonight, actually. The guy next door is moving in with his girlfriend and wants to rent his house! It would be absolutely perfect since we've fallen in love with this neighborhood and don't want to leave!
I love having a five minute walk through the mountains to work every day. :)

Update #2: Very long story short, everything is going great at my job and I absolute love it. If you follow the shop on Facebook (which you should!), that will get you up to date with what's going on with work.

Update #3: Dustin works with me now!! They've hired him on starting full-time next week. For now, he's working a few hours here and there to help how he can around the shop. I'm SO excited that this is happening. It's something we really wanted from the beginning (since he was my lifeline my first two weeks when Tyler was away). We really wanted the chance to be involved in something we valued and appreciated so much. Dustin was planning on going back to school in the fall (we had the parking permit decal and everything) but found out at the last minute that he'd have to pay triple the tuition due to be an out-of-state student. We were really bummed and facing the reality that school's just not an option now. Two days later, Tyler offered Dustin the job. :)

Update #4: In exchange for a discount on Matisse's tuition, I'm teaching a music class to 1st-5th graders at Montessori Elementary School of Asheville (MESA). I'm really excited about this opportunity and the first day went great today! The head teacher and I had a lot of the same ideas, so it'a really going to be fun. It's just in Monday's from 1-2, so since I have Monday's off, it's pretty perfect. I'm thankful for the opportunity to get back into the classroom. I do truly love teaching, so I'm grateful that the universe made it so I could have this awesome new job and still get to teach. :)

Update #4: Dustin and I might be forming a little band with the wife of one of our furniture artists. She's super adorable and has a lot of fun ideas. VERY excited at the thought of playing music again.

I guess when I put it all out like that, life's pretty great! ;)

But of course, it isn't without our share of challenges. Dustin and I have both been a little on edge the past couple of months, but I suppose when you take into consideration all we were dealing with, that's normal.

Despite it all, I really do wake up every single day wondering what I did right to deserve such a great life. My bills might not always be paid on time, and I know I have to work as hard as I can every single day, but it's all worth it. I'm living life and enjoying every minute of it. Taking the time to be happy is what matters most.

A Young Professional

So I know I haven't updated in forever and you probably all feel there's tons that needs to be filled in, and I'll get to it eventually. I just don't want to miss out on nights like tonight where I really want to talk about what's going on NOW.

Junk Recyclers joined the Chamber of Commerce today! SUPER exciting for a small business owner.  Its benefits can really help us out a lot as long as we utilize them.

Which we did! Tonight!

We found out this morning that the Young Professionals Association was having a meeting of some sort tonight. We knew we needed to start networking ASAP, so we figured, why not, we'll go for a bit.

It ended up just being a "social" where everyone basically drinks and mingles. And it was surprisingly fun. You really have to just out yourself out there and introduce yourself sometimes, but it's all welcomed. We met some really great people. Even if we can't do business with them, we still might just become friends. ;)

It was just a really nice day that allowed me and Tyler to meet some good people and brainstorm about the company. It also just gave us a chance to spend some time together and have some good talks to get to know each other. He's a great guy who I'm proud to work with. And it helps that he speaks so highly of my husband and us as a couple. ;)

Even though I really miss my friends and family (who I'm so excited to see this weekend!!), I'm really very happy. Like Dustin said in his status the other day. I wake up with a smile on my face every day. I'm thankful for the opportunity I've been given, and I can't wait to see how great we can make this.

Because we can. :)

My deepest fear

I'm really feeling this quote right now. It seems it's my own fears that keep me from being all I can be. I have such an amazing opportunity before me, and all I have to do is believe in myself and do everything I've ever wanted to do. It's an amazing yet frightening feeling. It's truly inspiring. :)

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
- Marianne Williamson (from A Return to Love)

Yay Job!!!

I feel I have so much to update everyone on!

We just got back from an amazing, relaxing, and refreshing trip to Florida.  It seems every trip to Florida makes us feel refreshed and renewed.  I think the ocean has something to do with it. ;)

We literally spent every day at the beach while we were there.  The boys are turning into quite the little surfer dudes!

So, an update on the life of the Allens:  Things seem to change day to day on this great adventure, but things are slowly falling into place.

The first big announcement – I got a job!!  It is the one I spoke about in the previous post.  It’s for a company called JunkRecycling.  It is a junk removal company that does everything possible to keep the junk they collect from going into the landfill.  They’ll break things apart and recycle what they can, and if they get furniture, they sell it at their thrift store called The Regeneration Station.  That’s where I come in!  I am the new manager of The Regeneration Station!  I’ll be in charge of getting the store in order, networking with other business and organizations, and working with local artists who come in and redo these old pieces of furniture.  And, I’ll get to redo some stuff myself and get all crafty and creative all the time!  They also do a lot of community work giving away beds and couches to area families in need.  And we’ll be throwing fun events and host kid craft nights with all the scrap materials we collect.  Lots and lots and lots of possibilities!

“But Kim,” you may be asking, “you are a teacher…you’ve never worked retail before.  What are you doing managing a retail store??!”

I asked myself those same questions when I had this weird inkling (that would NOT go away) to apply for the position after seeing the ad posted on Craigslist.  I ran across it one day and thought it sounded neat, but I dismissed it thinking, “Get real, Kim.”  Then Dustin and I went to this festival while down in Louisiana with our friend Kim who owns the Downtown Gypsy (and who is my creative, crafty mentor).  I told her about the job posting and we started talking about all the fun things we could do with all the “junk” that is collected.  It got my creative juices flowing, so I decided, why not?  I sent in my resume and cover letter the next day.

About a week later, I got a call from Tyler, the owner of Junk Recycling.  He said he read over my cover letter and really liked my energy and spirit (yay!).  We did a short phone interview and made plans for a face to face interview the day after we got to North Carolina.  The first interview went great, and Tyler and I hit it off immediately.  He has a lot of big ideas for the company and just needs someone to hop on board and help make it all become a reality. 

We scheduled a second interview for later on that week for which I had to basically come up with a plan of what I would do with the store if it were mine.  I presented my plan and shared my ideas (that include LOTS of fun events with local art studios and shops!), and he loved it.  He said that he’s had many of the same ideas and that it seemed I really understood who they are as a company and what their vision is for the future.  He called me on Tuesday and offered me the job!

He admitted that on paper, I am not qualified for this job at all (other than my business experience with School of Rock).  He said that it came down to me and one other guy, and the other guy had all the retail experience they wanted.  (He actually had me going for a minute thinking that I didn’t get the job.)  But then he went on to say why he chose me over the other guy.  He said that he really liked my energy, passion, and enthusiasm.  He said that he could tell I was creative and a go-getter and that he had this hunch that I could be the one to grow with the company. 

So even though I have a TON to learn about running a retail store, I know that I can do it.  I really enjoyed the business side of School of Rock, so I’m excited to utilize those talents and abilities again and see what I can do with this.  When we decided to move to Asheville and I started the job hunt, I just kept affirming over and over again that I wanted to be used for good however I could.  I wanted to see what good I could offer the community and get involved however I can.  Then this came up and I just feel deep down that it is right! 

I start Monday morning, so keep me in your thoughts! J

Regarding everything else with getting our lives started here, Dustin has a couple of job prospects lined up that he’ll look into more this week, and he’s going to get registered for fall classes to finish his degree.  

We’re still on the hunt for a home, so keep the positives vibes coming!!

Love you all!

Kim