Yay Internets!

My Writing Desk and new Lappy :)

I'm so excited to finally have internet at the house!  And that I have a new laptop!  It will make blogging much easier since I won't have to leave the house, can do it in my pjs, and have a computer that actually functions properly. :)

So yes, thanks to student loans, I got a MacBook Pro.  I figured, what the hell, why not.  Nikki's had her MacBook for 6 years and it still works perfectly.  I've had my Dell for 4, and it's going downhill fast.  The battery doesn't hold a charge, it freezes up and shuts off randomly, the screen doesn't stay in place, etc, etc. Not good for a writer/student.  So the upgrade was needed.

Speaking of my writer/student role, things are going well so far.  I got off to a bit of a rough start, but am finally all caught up and on track.  I still haven't decided what to work on for my main piece in my writing course. I'm playing around with the idea of writing a sci-fi short story, but we'll see.  I've never attempted fiction before, so it's a little daunting.

Some good news - Nikki got the job!  Tyler hired her yesterday and today is her first day at the shop. :) She's technically part-time for now, but her hours will be pretty heavy.  Tyler still wants to keep his options open for a new manager, and honestly, I think he's kind of enjoying himself running the store. :)  But he still had to hire someone because Sunday was CJ's last day.  He and his girlfriend, the adorable Jen, are moving to Brevard which is about an hour away.  And he got a new job working on a farm like he dreamed, so they're really happy!  So Nikki will take over CJ's full-time shop hours for now.  We're all really happy and thankful and excited for this new opportunity for her.

In other random, up to date news:

There's still no word on my wedding ring (but I'm not giving up hope!), so I got a new ring to wear on my wedding finger.  Thanks to the $25 case at Himalayan Imports downtown, I have a beautiful silver and lapis ring.  I didn't know much about lapis before buying it, I just thought it was a pretty stone.  But after doing some research, it's kind of the perfect stone for me as far as my whole "spiritual journey" blogging goes. And I keep hearing that blue is a good color for writing and creativity, so it's perfect. :)

The music-making stuff is going well!  We recorded a song with Morgan on Friday that a friend of hers is putting on a project for grad school in music technology (or something like that).  It was SUPER duper fun and I loved every second of it!  AND we officially have a show booked for Fri. March 8 at Firestorm in Asheville.  So so pumped. :)

My new schedule has really enabled me to get a little more settled in our little home.  I've become quite obsessed with Feng Shui and am working on a post with pictures of my newly feng-shui(ed) living room. :)  Gecky is still doing great.  He sure does love fruitflies.

All in all, I'm pretty happy and life's pretty awesome. :)

Love!

Kim

Band Practice!

Last night we had “band practice” at our house.  Our friend Morgan is a beautiful singer and songwriter, and we’ve started jamming together.  She has a lot of original songs we’re working on and some other fun covers, too.  We all played at an open mic last week at Firestorm (this cute little bookstore/café downtown, where Sarah (Rebecca’s sister) works).  Morgan was offered a gig there, so she asked us to play with her.  So we’re booked for Friday, March 8^th!

It feels SO GOOD to be singing again.  And I’m honored to get to sing with someone like Morgan!  That girl can sing, and she inspires me to be a better singer.  I’ve noticed over the last week or two that I’m just happier when I’m singing.  My friend Julie was over last night for practice, too, and she said how beautiful and glowing I was and how I had to sing more.  I was kind of shocked considering I hadn’t showered in two days, was still in my pajamas (furry purple and pink slippers and all…), and really didn’t know what was going on with my hair. 

This music feels really good.  My voice was meant to harmonize with Morgan’s.  It’s amazing how easy and naturally it all comes.  And then I get to look over and see my gorgeous husband strumming along on the guitar.  Makes my soul happy!!

So yeah, I’m singing at a little coffee shop in downtown Asheville next month.  With Dustin and one of my new bffs.  Pretty freaking cool. J

Here’s a tiny taste.  It was the only one we remembered to record.  This was Morgan introducing a new song to us.  Simple, cute, and profound.

Yay music!

Writing Journal Week 1

One of the classes I'm taking this semester is the third level of a creative writing series. I've taken the other two classes past semesters, and I absolutely loved them. I didn't take any creative writing classes during my undergraduate, so this has been a great chance for me to explore writing and work with an amazing instructor who encourages me and helps bring out the best in my writing.

Since my goal for this semester of not working is to work on my writing more and build up both this blog and Soliloquy of the Soul, I've decided to share most of the writing that I do for this course. It will give me a chance to get more feedback from my readers, and it will just help me express myself and feel more fulfilled (which is the whole point of this semester hiatus for employment).

Every week, we have to submit journal entries, so this is journal entry #1. I'll post my journal every week as well as any creative writing that I work on. Then, once I start working on my main piece for the semester, I'll post it, too.

Enjoy, and thanks for reading!!

Journal Entry #1

I am excited as I start this new semester and dive into my writing once again. I feel like I’m more open now than I have ever been in my life, so I’m excited to see what pieces evolve throughout the semester. After all I’ve experienced in the last two years, I feel like I’ve really grown and matured. I’ve been sorting a lot of stuff out (especially within the last six months), and I feel like I’m finally ready to get some thoughts down on paper. I quit my job last month to go back to teaching, and ended up not getting a teaching job. So I took enough out in student loans to pay rent for the semester, and now I’m just focusing on my two grad school classes and my writing. It’s amazing to think of how much time I’ll have now to write. I finally have the open schedule I’ve always dreamed of, and I think I’m really going to blossom this semester. I finally have time to devote to me to just explore, learn, and write.

It’s important, I’ve found, to devote time to fulfill your basic needs, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It doesn’t matter how long my to-do list is or how much laundry or dirty dishes are laying around; if I don’t make quiet time for myself to meditate and journal every day, then I’m not at my best. It seems I’ve always tried to put off writing with the excuse of too many other important things I should be doing. Now that I’ve finally realized I need that time to write, it seems that the universe has given me that time.

I have big dreams as far as my writing goes. I truly believe that it’s going to be a big part of my life, career, and overall success. I believe that I’m meant to help others through my writing and that the only thing holding me back is myself. It’s time for me to believe in myself and to stop hiding and running away from what I’m meant to do. No one is meant for mediocrity. We all have the power within us to shine and create the happy, fulfilled lives that we want. It’s time for me to embrace that power within and live the life I’ve always dreamed of.

I’m excited to learn more about the writing craft this semester and really take my writing to that next level. I look forward to honing my skills even more to create thoughtful, provocative, and inspiring pieces that express the essence of who I am and the kind of writer I want to be.

Typical "Dramatic Lifetime Update" Post

First off, to spare the suspension: No baby yet...but LOTS of great, love-filled energy. :)

So, where are we today, building the groundwork for 2013?

Well, I have quit my job as manager of The Regeneration Station and have decided to go back to school and teaching. I've really missed teaching at Ivy Tech and would like to return to the community college setting. I've also really missed academia, so I'm taking a couple online courses for my masters through IU. There aren't many graduate school options around here, so I'll probably finish my online program since I'm only a few classes away, and then look into other local options. I'm feeling drawn to work on my PhD, but I'm not sure what in. I'm just letting myself explore this semester and see what I love.

Leaving the shop was a really really really hard decision to make. I felt like I was letting the company down and giving up. But I finally just had to realize that I wasn't doing what I loved, and I couldn't deny it any longer. I still LOVED my job and time at The Regeneration Station, and I want to continue to be involved in the company and the upcycling movement. Through my time at the store, I realized that upcycling (especially furniture) is really a passion of mine. One that should be pursued and fulfilled. That being said, I also learned that I don't want the responsibilities and stress that come along with running a small business like that. At least not right now. I can't fulfill the needs of a company like that when I know that there are basic needs of my own that aren't being met. I need to take care of myself before I can help others.

If I'm not slinging mattresses and selling upcycled furniture, then what am I doing now? I'm officially a full time student. (i.e. I took a little extra out in student loans to help pay rent for the semester.) So I'm diving head first into academia (and finally getting those journal articles submitted). I'm also diving head first into my writing. I finally just need to get it all out there and stop holding myself back. Same goes for singing and songwriting. ;)

So I'm taking a semester for me. Time for me to explore the things that I love and give my soul the attention that it needs. I'll still be on the lookout for work opportunities and see what arises. I have faith it will all work for the good. Normally it does when I just surrender.

There's so much more in my head and heart that I can't wait to share, but I think that's a long enough post for one day. :)

So much love!
Kim

Calling on My Angels - It's Baby-Making Time!

I’ve been trying for about a year and a half to get pregnant.  Dustin had his vasectomy reversal in April 2011, and we’ve been letting nature take its course since then.

Over the last month or so, I’ve felt that it’s very close.  I’ve been praying and meditating over my belly regularly, releasing all the fear, doubt, and worry I have about not being able to get pregnant.

Due to my history of ovarian problems and Dustin’s vasectomy, I haven’t had the most positive thoughts on us getting pregnant, and I now know that that is the reason for not getting pregnant.

I had an amazing, enlightening talk with my dear friend Julie who I believe to be divinely inspired.  She’s very into astrology, so she gave me and Dustin our astrological forecast for this year of our lives.  It’s amazing and almost hard to believe how dead on a lot of what she said was.  As she was looking over mine, she laughed and said, “You guys better be careful over the next couple months if you don’t want to have a baby…”

“Well,” I said, “what if we do want to have a baby?”

“Then this is prime baby-making time!” she exclaimed.  As we talked more about our interest in getting pregnant, she was able to view our cards through that lens and said that the heavens are definitely on our side due to all the baby cards showing up.

She later said that some psychics can actually see the aura of a baby on the outside of a woman’s body when a woman is trying to get pregnant.  She said it’s mostly due to the mother not fully opening herself up to the idea of pregnancy, so the baby is just waiting on the sidelines, wanting to be born.  Toward the end of our talk, she told me that she felt there was a baby present with me already, though she didn’t want to say anything to get my hopes up in case she was mistaken.

The thing that stood out to me most was toward the end when we were hugging and saying goodbye.  She said that she’s feeling led to tell me to ask for angels.  That if Dustin and I believe in angels and heavenly beings, to ask for their help and support as we try to get pregnant.  The first thing that came to my mind is the group of amazing ladies on the Living Love Tour who they call themselves “angels”.

I also started to think about how everyone in my life could be considered an angel.  I’ve been considering writing a blog for some time now about my pregnancy journey.  My doubts and fears, my hopes and aspirations.  When you’ve wanted something so badly your entire life, your greatest fear becomes the idea of not being able to have it.  So I’ve held onto a LOT of fear about pregnancy.  I’ve always held back from posting things because I don’t want to be seen as having the “woe is me – I can’t get prego” attitude, but I feel like it's time to talk about my feelings and ask for help.

I now feel called to ask my angels for help.  And all of you are my angels.  I believe in the power of positive thoughts, energy, and collective consciousness, so I figure it couldn’t hurt to get all of you wonderful people focusing on loving thoughts for me and my future baby.  I believe in angels, and I believe in miracles.  We all have the power of creation within us, so I ask for your help and support in creating this pregnancy.

So if you could, just stop what you’re doing right now and send me a loving prayer, thought, or blessing.  

Pray for my body, that it be prepared and healthy to carry a child.  Pray for the future baby of mine.  Visualize lots of pink for a girl! ;)  

Especially all you mothers out there who have experienced pregnancy and have a little baby of your own.  Take the love of motherhood that you feel and send it my way as a wish for me.

I believe that I can have a baby, and I believe that the time is coming soon.  My life is perfect and stable for starting a family, and it’s time for me to let go of my fear, doubt, and worry and let that baby in!

Thank you, my angels, for your help! J

SO MUCH LOVE,

Kim

Changes Come, Turn My World Around

I wrote this over a month ago and forgot to post it. It's still pretty accurate today.

Dustin and I had a wonderful day yesterday.  A day of great talks, honest moments, laughter, sillyness, and a hike in the rain with the puppies.  It was a great release for both of us as we've both been working WAY too hard lately.

Things really are going great, but with those great, exciting changes comes stress.  Which we've been feeling a lot of lately.

We spent the whole day talking about how insane the last year has been and how it's really taken an emotional toll on us (both individually and as a couple) whether we want to admit it or not.

I realized that a big part of why I've been feeling so down lately is due to missing my family.  I realized yesterday that's it's been almost two months since I've heard my momma's voice, and that's just TOO LONG! - Which is why I'm excited about our phone date this evening. :) -

I tend to get too hard on myself.  I carry a lot of guilt for moving away.  Though I love our new life in Asheville, sometimes I feel guilty, like I "abandoned" my friends and family.  I worry that people have ill feelings towards us for leaving, and I know I have to let that go.  I would hope that all our friends and family are happy for us and the life we've created together.

Instead of allowing myself to feel guilt and sadness when I think about all the people I love and miss, I need to just acknowledge those emotions and take them as signs that that area of my life needs attention.  Since I've been working so much, I haven't been very good at staying connected with people, and I think that's the main things that's got me so down.  I don't want the physical distance between us causing emotional distance.

I also realized during my cathartic day yesterday that perhaps I haven't fully dealt with all that's happened in the last year and a half or so.  There was a lot of family and emotional turmoil before the wedding, then we just picked up our life and left to Louisiana (and then Asheville).  I fear that subliminally, I was severing myself from it all.  Running away perhaps.  Putting on that smile, going through the motions, convincing myself all is well when maybe it's not.

They are all things that will be dealt with in time, and the important part is that I am filled with nothing but love and the desire to feel whole again.

Perhaps the best part about yesterday was remembering how in love with my husband and I am.  Having our talks, sharing our fears and working through them together, and of course, just our fun goofiness.  I forgot how funny and adorable my husband is.  I am so grateful for our wonderful day together, and I feel like we've both been washed anew.

In other news, we should be moving into our house this week!  We are renting the house right next door to Tyler's, where we're staying now.  I think finally getting settled and having a home again will help our mental state as well.

Update!!

I apologize for being such a sucky blogger. It just gets a little crazy around here sometimes!!

So, here's a quick, end-of-the-day update on the Allen's!

Update #1: We're crashing at my bosses house for a bit while we continue our home search. Got a great lead in that tonight, actually. The guy next door is moving in with his girlfriend and wants to rent his house! It would be absolutely perfect since we've fallen in love with this neighborhood and don't want to leave!
I love having a five minute walk through the mountains to work every day. :)

Update #2: Very long story short, everything is going great at my job and I absolute love it. If you follow the shop on Facebook (which you should!), that will get you up to date with what's going on with work.

Update #3: Dustin works with me now!! They've hired him on starting full-time next week. For now, he's working a few hours here and there to help how he can around the shop. I'm SO excited that this is happening. It's something we really wanted from the beginning (since he was my lifeline my first two weeks when Tyler was away). We really wanted the chance to be involved in something we valued and appreciated so much. Dustin was planning on going back to school in the fall (we had the parking permit decal and everything) but found out at the last minute that he'd have to pay triple the tuition due to be an out-of-state student. We were really bummed and facing the reality that school's just not an option now. Two days later, Tyler offered Dustin the job. :)

Update #4: In exchange for a discount on Matisse's tuition, I'm teaching a music class to 1st-5th graders at Montessori Elementary School of Asheville (MESA). I'm really excited about this opportunity and the first day went great today! The head teacher and I had a lot of the same ideas, so it'a really going to be fun. It's just in Monday's from 1-2, so since I have Monday's off, it's pretty perfect. I'm thankful for the opportunity to get back into the classroom. I do truly love teaching, so I'm grateful that the universe made it so I could have this awesome new job and still get to teach. :)

Update #4: Dustin and I might be forming a little band with the wife of one of our furniture artists. She's super adorable and has a lot of fun ideas. VERY excited at the thought of playing music again.

I guess when I put it all out like that, life's pretty great! ;)

But of course, it isn't without our share of challenges. Dustin and I have both been a little on edge the past couple of months, but I suppose when you take into consideration all we were dealing with, that's normal.

Despite it all, I really do wake up every single day wondering what I did right to deserve such a great life. My bills might not always be paid on time, and I know I have to work as hard as I can every single day, but it's all worth it. I'm living life and enjoying every minute of it. Taking the time to be happy is what matters most.